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Name: Karleen
Years: 28

I began writing this piece with the intention to understand why some Black men purposely choose not to date Black women.

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I whole-heartedly believe many interracial relationships are founded in love my father is Black and my mother is of Hispanic and Palestinian decentbut as I spoke to more and more Black men, I realized many of their reasoning behind their choice to date outside their race was rooted in passed down stereotypes and beauty biases that are not only untrue, but hurtful.

I appreciated his honesty, but it led me to think of him as weak-minded.

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Sadly, it became a running theme throughout these interviews that the men I questioned were taught certain beauty biases from none other than their own mothers. This was an ugly reminder how self-hatred is so deeply engrained in our psyche.

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When I asked if he ever ended up exploring the darker skinned woman in later years, he told me that he has two children. One by a Hispanic woman and one by a light-skinned black woman; however, he still finds dark skin women to be beautiful and has dated plenty brown-skinned women in his adult life.

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I asked my own father the question of beauty biases he was taught as a young man. I have two half-brothers, both of their mothers are brown-skinned.

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In his late 20s he married my mother, who is of Hispanic and Palestinian decent. Given his relationship history, he finds all women to be beautiful and he spends much of his time speaking on issues concerning black women on his podcast that is dedicated to Black positivity.

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When I asked him his thoughts on beauty biases he mentioned many things, but the one that stuck out to me most was the idea that there once was a time when a Black man could be killed for even looking at a white woman. In some ways it was the ultimate revenge to covet her and in other ways it was the forbidden fruit.

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Only an insecure man would push a woman away because of her strength, which is obviously a great characteristic. A common thread among these men were that they seemed to value physical traits more that character traits. No more social experiments for me.

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All Rights Reserved. Tatiana Ward.

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